Love, Loyalty and Serenity
by A Traveler
Summary: Inara gets kidnapped. Mal and the crew go to her rescue. M/I romance. Completed: Conclusion is now posted!
1. Chapter 1

**Love, Loyalty and Serenity**

_Events take place sometime after the end of the series and before the movie so I could have Inara, Book and Wash onboard (I don't deal well with change)._

**Chapter 1**

"Cap'n, it's past leaving time," Zoe reminded Mal Reynolds. It was the third time she'd anxiously approached him where he stood, up to his ankles in hot sand just outside Serenity's open cargo hold, peering into the empty desert beyond. He glanced over at his second-in-command; her eyes radiated fear and suspicion. She didn't like this world at all, not after the near-catastrophe their most recent job had precipitated. Mal Reynolds remained in place but his worried expression mirrored her concern and unease.

"Just a few minutes more. She'll be here."

"Sir, the shuttle can catch up to us off-world."

"Zoe, just a few minutes more. She said she'd meet us here."

"Cap'n, you want I should fire up the engines?" Kaylee made an appearance now in a nagging repeat of Zoe's performance. Kaylee's fingers twitched, running in a line from her bruised, scratched shoulders, across her ripped overalls and down to a bruise on her left shin. Her face contorted for only a brief second, but long enough to relay to Mal and Zoe that their flight mechanic was in no small amount of pain. They were all hurting after their ordeal, some more than others. The Captain turned and strode up the cargo bay ramp as if to say enough was enough; it was time to cut their losses.

"Alright, Kaylee, darlin', crank her up. Zoe, get Wash to start a search for the shuttle. We gotta find Inara."

"Yes sir," Zoe agreed.

Mal tried to figure out where this stinking job had gone south as he flew away from the desolate world where they'd spent the last three days trying and failing to carry out what should have been a milk run heist. He'd got word that a shipment of food and medical supplies had crash-landed on the unpopulated, desert side of a rim world. His contacts reported they had picked up all they could carry; they'd told Mal where to find the remainder of the goods. Mal had been grateful for their generosity in sharing the find. Times had been lean lately. Picking up the scraps under someone else's table was better than starving.

At first blush, it had looked like way more than leftovers. Mal and his crew had whooped with excitement as they'd begun loading the goods onto the mule for transport to Serenity's nearly empty cargo bay.

"Like takin' candy from a baby," Jayne had gushed.

"There is a free lunch after all," Book had agreed.

"Something's smelly," Zoe had glowered. "Too easy. Crashed or not, stuff like this doesn't get left to sit for long. And most of these things aren't damaged, like they weren't even in a crash. We should be careful, Cap'n."

"You're getting more and more paranoid every year," Wash said. He was scooping and throwing into the mule everything he could get his hands on.

"Hey, we're not alone," Simon cried. He pointed to the hills surrounding the crash zone.

Simon was right; the site was no longer undiscovered. It had taken every instinct they had to leave the supplies where they lay and high-tail it back to the ship. The thugs chasing them had a weapon they'd never encountered before; a blue ray gun thing that cast a glowing force field, like a net, over the ship and prevented them from taking off. Apparently, in the time since Mal had gotten word about this find, the window of opportunity had closed. The locals had found the site, taken what they could use, baited the site with some pretty treasures and now lay in wait for unsuspecting ships to come by looking to help themselves.

After a fight that left him bruised and bleeding, the attacking mob had overtaken Mal and boarded Serenity with loud victory hollers. Mal's last thought before being knocked unconscious was a vague sense of relief that at least Inara had escaped all this by going to visit a client on a neighboring planet.

The ship was flying smoothly through the black, giving Mal time to stretch his feet out and relax with a sigh that shook his entire body. They'd managed to escape, in spite of the attempt on their ship. He closed his eyes, only to be greeted with overpowering images from the last two days of hell. He should have suspected something; should have known that nothing was ever easy out here on the rim planets. The locals didn't want the goods; they wanted ships. Now they just had to wait for scavengers to land in their ships, all safe and sound, so they could trap them, hold them on the ground and board them. It was such a good plan Mal almost wished he'd thought of it first. It was a good plan until they tried to take Serenity, Mal thought smugly.

_Mal had come to in the cargo hold. He couldn't believe how stupid his captors were; he wasn't even bound. He could hear them above, ransacking the common areas of the ship._

"_Zoe?" He whispered as loud as he dared. There was no audible answer, but a piece of crumpled paper had hit him in the temple a few moments later. He'd looked up at the catwalk to discover Zoe and Jayne, armed and ready. They'd retreated into hiding as soon as they were sure Mal had caught sight of them. They must have made it back to Serenity way faster than Mal; they'd escaped detection._

_The next few hours had been tricky, but the crew of Serenity prevailed in the end. Kaylee, Simon and River had somehow gotten away outside the ship. They'd found the marauders' camp, jumped the men operating the force field and had disabled it. It had just been a matter of time before they'd all managed to subdue the men inside Serenity, force them back outside and take off. Nobody had escaped unscathed, the ship was a mess and their cargo was lighter now, but nobody had been seriously injured, either. All in all, not the worst day they'd ever had._

_Mal had ordered Wash to fly them to a spot on the other side of the desert where they'd earlier agreed to rendezvous if things didn't go according to plan. Inara hadn't shown up at the appointed time. In spite of his reluctance to leave caused by Inara's failure to show up when she'd said she would, Mal wanted off this go se planet in a bad way. There was a good chance the locals would be back, this time for revenge, if they lingered too long in one place. So they'd finally left, and now Mal was growing increasingly worried._

"Serenity, come in," a shaky voice emitted from the comm in front of him, jolting Mal back to the present. A wave was coming in. Inara's pretty face came onscreen. She was breathing so hard she could barely talk and her eyes were desperate. A dark streak ran down the side of her jaw. It looked a lot like blood.

"Inara, it's Mal. Where are you? What's wrong?"

"I'm on Icarus. In the Amity Mountains. I need help." A cold shot of adrenaline flooded his body.

"What happened?"

"I'm being held prisoner at Lord Zarlock's blockade. We've been attacked. Help me! Ai ya! Someone's coming."

The connection filled with static then went dead. Mal was immediately consumed with fear for her, Inara, his passenger, his friend, his sweet obsession, though he'd been careful to never let on to anyone how he really felt about her. The words "help me" had ignited a terrible dread inside his heart. She was injured; she had certainly been deathly afraid. Attacked, she'd said. Who was this so-called friend she was visiting? He had to find her; he had to get her back. There was no other possibility.

"Zoe, I need you on the bridge," he yelled into the intercom. River appeared just then, out of nowhere, and slipped light as a feather into the cockpit.

"Where to?" She asked.

"Icarus. River, go… "

"Go fast as we can," she finished knowingly. Mal placed a hand on her shoulder and held onto her as she ably steered the controls. How ironic that he was leaning on her, a fragile slip of a girl, for support. But he was. He depended on her now; he could hardly remember when it had started, but it was true. He took for granted the mysterious connection that joined their consciousnesses, could almost sense her the way she anticipated him. He squeezed her shoulder; she looked up with dark, empathetic eyes. _Don't worry, Cap'n_, her look said. _She's still alive. We'll find her_. She reached up and touched his hand.

"Thank you, mei mei," he whispered.

_A/N: I know, I know; Inara gets kidnapped, Mal rushes to the rescue-- it's been done-- but hopefully my take on the plot will be new and different enough to entertain and give you readers your "Firefly" fix! More to come soon…_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This installment contains non-graphic references to rape. Don't read if that disturbs you. This chapter and the next one deal with Inara's injuries, including rape, its aftermath and her eventual recovery._

**Love, Loyalty and Serenity: Ch 2**

Icarus was a not a planet in its own right, but a large moon circling a giant gas planet. The solar system that was home to Icarus also contained the desert planet the crew of Serenity had recently fled but that smaller, denser planet was much closer to the star at the center of the system. Large enough to hold an atmosphere, the cold moon Icarus had been terraformed by the Alliance long ago, but was located so far from the core planets, and so far from its own sun, that living here had never really caught on. Although the energy from its star was too feeble at this distance to create a temperate climate, the surface temperature was warm enough to sustain life due to widespread geothermal activity.

Now the moon was home to a few families of means who'd built formidable estates for themselves. Inara had been there before and had told Mal intriguing stories of the riches stockpiled away in the huge ancestral homes of Icarus; the stories had him itching for a chance to accompany her on a visit and see it for himself. She'd gone to visit a friend this trip, a woman who had left the Guild and married a self-proclaimed baron. Companions rarely got married, but such an event was more common out on the fringes of civilization where companionship of any type was difficult for the hard-working locals to attract. Her friend Fariah had been needling Inara for a visit for many cycles now; she was lonely, she complained, and never heard any of the Guild gossip anymore. Inara was sometimes in this quadrant and Fariah made her promise she would come visit if she ever got close to Icarus.

"Okay, Zoe, where are the Amity Mountains? We need to find the homestead of Lord Zarlock."

"I'm pulling up the chart now; here it is. River, take us towards the north pole of the moon. Look for a chain of mountains running east to northwest. As for where the estate is, I'd guess we just look for habitations. We'll have to hope there aren't a lot of choices."

"Tracking Inara's pendant," River returned.

"What?" Mal asked, incredulous.

"Inara's pendant. It transmits her coordinates." Mal always got the impression that River was just a smidge away from losing patience with the rest of them whenever she attempted to explain something.

"Since when?" Zoe asked.

"Always," River replied in her typical laconic fashion.

"Jing ze. Where is she?" Mal said, leaning over River's shoulder to look at the console, searching for an indication of Inara's whereabouts.

"Here, in that settlement there."

"Go! Land us out of sight of the main building. I don't know what we're walking into, Zoe; get everyone ready who's willing to risk it."

"I dare say that will be everybody," Zoe replied.

Mal left Zoe, River, Kaylee and Wash behind with Serenity. Simon, Jayne, Book and Mal were actually a better team without the others, although nobody ever said so out loud. Simon wasn't much help with the fighting but his services always seemed to be needed directly afterwards. He had a level head and managed to stay out of the line of fire. He'd saved all their lives at one time or another.

Mal sometimes brought River along on jobs, for she had proved her worth on many occasions as a warrior. But she was changeable; unpredictable; today he felt more comfortable leaving her with Wash and the others. For months now, Wash had been teaching her how to pilot Serenity. The girl was a natural and Wash knew it, but still, he taught her for hours each day; he seemed to enjoy her company. Mal knew how he felt. The girl kinda got hold of a body and wormed her way into their heart.

Mal crept up the last few feet to the top of the rise and cautiously peered over to get a look at the estate spread out in the valley below.

"Jayne."

"Cap'n?" Jayne settled down next to Mal with a lightness of movement in direct contradiction to his large, muscle-bound frame.

"Take a look. What would you say happened down there?" Mal handed his binoculars over.

"Looks like a hostile takeover," Jayne said after a minute. "Part of the outer wall's all blown to bits, debris all over the yard…" Jayne adjusted the eyepiece and trained it on the side of the mountain. "And bodies, down there, see?" He pointed.

"Yeah, I see," Mal replied grimly. "We're splitting up. Get a count of how many hostiles we're dealing with. We'll meet back up at the tree line, down there, in 30. Stay on comms."

"Wait, Cap," Jayne said. He pointed down into the courtyard of the mansion. The front door burst open and a group of men exited. They were hairy, dirty, wild things wearing ragged uniforms. From the color of the rags covering their backs, Mal guessed they'd been Browncoats at one time. Blood mixed with the dirt on their clothing and skin. Each one staggered under a bag stuffed with valuables from within the house. As they watched, the door opened again and a large, red-haired bear of a man strode into the courtyard. He had a wood box under one arm. His other arm was wrapped tightly around the throat of a woman who could barely walk. Even from a distance, Mal could make out her black curls, rich dress and impossibly dainty sandals, somehow still colorful and bright, a stark contrast to her surroundings. She appeared to be on the verge of collapse, but each time her body crumpled her captor jerked her roughly back onto her feet by the neck.

"Is that?" Jayne whispered.

"It's Inara." Mal felt sick.

The door opened again and two more men sauntered out. The group conferred together and then walked towards the outer gates.

"There's eight," Jayne confirmed. "You think that's all of them?"

"I'd say yes; they've done their job and they're headed back to wherever home base is. They don't look to be in a hurry; I'd guess nobody's left alive inside. Zoe," Mal whispered into his radio. "Have River keep on tracking Inara. She's being moved. We're going after her; be ready to come pick us up." He turned to his comrades.

"Let's go." The rough terrain and cold wind did nothing to slow them down. They were men possessed. The gang they were following was making no attempt to cover their tracks, but Mal urged his team on faster and faster, knowing their ship was likely hidden nearby and they would lose them at any moment.

"They stopped," Jayne whispered.

"Spread out. Surround them. Fire at will—but don't hit Inara." The four crept to points surrounding where the thugs were sitting. Mal could hear the red-haired leader talking on his radio, calling for a transport to come get them. Almost immediately he heard the whine of the ship's engine over their heads. Looking up he saw nothing but low clouds at first; then the ship slowly descended out of the swirling mist like a ghost materializing. Mal glanced around at the locations he knew his teammates to be. He saw nobody; they'd thankfully taken cover. His heart sank as he watched the ship settle into the clearing. The four of them would be committing suicide to attack now. He was losing Inara and it hurt worse than any pain he'd ever known.

He could see Jayne across the clearing. He'd stepped out of the bushes just far enough to where he knew Mal could see him and was staring with wild eyes, challenging Mal to do something, anything. Mal shook his head and swallowed back bile. They couldn't attack now. Jayne closed his eyes in pain-filled frustration but stepped back into the cover of the bushes.

The ship's hatch opened and the group in the clearing jumped up as soon as the way was clear to board. Inara screamed when her captor dragged her onto the ramp. She kicked and fought like a wild thing. The man holding her laughed, grabbed her face and planted his mouth squarely across her mouth and nose in a brutal parody of a kiss. Mal saw her go limp and still in the vice-like grip of her kidnapper. He had to clamp his own hand across his mouth to keep from crying out.

An electric hum filled the air. Four pairs of desperate eyes looked up to see Serenity hovering above their heads. The men on the ramp yelled and ran inside their ship for cover. The ramp was closing when the hum grew louder and higher in pitch. A blue force field fell into place over the enemy ship. The paralyzing effect was so complete that even the ramp stopped in midair.

Mal roared in triumph. Kaylee must have stolen the ray gun weapon on the other planet. She never ceased to surprise him. Jayne, Simon, Book and Mal stormed towards the grounded ship and its half-closed hatch with one mind and goal. Serenity was landing behind them now, still holding the force field in place. Mal knew Zoe and the others would soon be right behind them.

"Let her go!" Mal growled at the man still clutching onto Inara's still form. The thug was backed up against the door of the ship's cockpit; apparently the control to open the door had been frozen in place along with the rest of the ship's functions.

"Stop or I'll kill her," he answered. "Drop your gun."

Mal tossed his gun down. "Let her go, and we'll all just walk away."

"Get off my ship."

"Wang bao dahn…" Jayne spit out. He had somehow slipped into place across from Mal. With a lightning movement, he neatly shot the guy in the forehead. With powerful grace he whirled at a sound behind him and shot another in the same instant. Mal dove for his discarded gun and killed a man skulking in the shadows just before he could fell Jayne. Within a few seconds, it was all over. Mal turned to see Wash and Zoe standing on the partially open ramp behind him, guns drawn. They'd finished off the leftovers.

Mal turned his attention to the crumbled figure lying against the cockpit door, still partly covered by the dead kidnapper. He was at her side in two long strides. With an outraged cry he shoved the body of the red-haired thug off of her and scooped her up from the floor. Around her neck glistened a gold-chained amulet set with a brilliant blue stone. Large enough to hide a transmitter chip, Mal realized.

She was dead weight in his arms.

"'Nara?" He said. She lay curled against his chest pale and motionless. Her lips were pale, almost purple. He swallowed back hot tears, unable to bear the thought that they were too late.

"Simon!"

The doctor was helping him hold her in an instant. He placed two slender fingers on her reddened neck.

"She has a pulse," he confirmed. "Her throat is bruised and she's having trouble breathing. We have to get her to the infirmary right now."

"And get off this go se planet," Jayne added.

"Look around on the way out, kids," Mal called, ever the mercenary even as he gently bore his precious burden back to his ship. Behind him his crew began quickly picking through the hold, grabbing whatever they could carry that looked to be of use.

"That's enough; close the hatch," Zoe urged as Jayne went back for seconds. "Let's go. Now if not sooner." But there was no bite behind her bark. This was who they were: scavengers who needed everything they could get their hands on just to survive. After a seconds' hesitation, Zoe followed Jayne back into the enemy ship for one last run.

"Is everybody on board, Zoe?" Mal yelled from the deck of the hold.

"Yes sir."

"We're going back to the Baron's house and see if anybody's left."

Mal had Wash land Serenity right in the center of the huge courtyard of the plundered mansion. The courtyard was already torn apart and full of debris; Mal didn't figure they could do much more damage at this point. He wanted to be sure of a fast get-away if things went south.

The courtyard of the Baron's home must have been beautiful, Mal could see. He, Zoe and Jayne moved slowly, almost reverently through the burned and littered grounds toward the open doors of the main building. Broken statues were knocked off marbled pedestals to either side of the entrance. A pool with a fountain still running like nothing had happened was off to one side. There was very little vegetation, just like the rest of the moon, but the residents here had made up for it through elaborate ornamentation. It was heartbreaking to see the mess left behind by the marauders.

Mal stepped through the doorway with his gun drawn and looked around before signaling to Zoe and Jayne to come in. The damage inside matched the destruction outside. After a quick run through the main floor revealed nobody, Mal headed up the stairs with Jayne and Zoe behind. Room by room, they checked for survivors.

"In here," Mal said. He was standing in the doorway of a huge master suite. He walked through and automatically checked the pulse of the first body he came to, a richly dressed middle-aged man, hair of steely gray, spread out on the floor; probably the Baron himself.

"Dead," he announced although it was obvious. Zoe was bent over the body of a woman who looked to be closer to Inara's age. She was beautiful even in death, her blond curls spread out around her flawless face. Zoe straightened up and shook her head. The bloodied bodies of two younger women were curled against the wall.

"Ai ya; hwoon dahn," Jayne cursed thickly in Mandarin. "How did Inara--?" Mal shot him a warning glance. He couldn't afford to be reminded of her right now; they needed to keep their minds on determining what had happened here. If he thought about his friend, his precious more-than-friend who was currently lying unconscious in Serenity's infirmary, he'd fall apart.

"What was this? A robbery? Revenge? Family feud?" Jayne speculated. "Poor Inara. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Just then Zoe, who had continued searching through the rest of the rooms on that level, re-entered the master suite.

"Three more bodies down the hall; two men and a boy. I don't see any survivors. Without survivors, we have no way of finding out what their motives were."

Mal had had enough of the sad scene. "Jayne, grab that computer on the desk. Maybe it will have some clues on it. And let's get out of here. Quick-like."

"Yes sir. I couldn't agree more."

"What are you all doing?" Mal asked from the catwalk overlooking the cargo hold. It had been two days since they'd sailed from Icarus far out into the black. Below him Zoe, Wash and Jayne were picking through an enormous pile of assorted jewelry, expensive clothing, metal statuettes, china dishes and the like. The goods they'd recovered from the robbers' ship looked like they'd been swiped from an elite museum instead of a remote homestead on a rimworld moon.

"This guy was quite a collector," Zoe remarked. "This stuff is worth a fortune."

"How did Inara's friend find this guy? I'm thinking I could find me a match out there somewhere too," Kaylee commented. The greedy light in her eyes irritated Mal.

"What, and get yourself killed by marauders? I'm thinking it's not the best idea you've had lately."

Kaylee glanced at Mal, hurt. "Oh, and this job is a real dandy. Since I signed on with you I could've just as well been killed 'bout ten times already!" She started to stomp away, but a bauble caught her eye and, already forgetting her anger, she settled back down to inspect the new treasure.

"You're still here," Mal growled.

"Dumb luck is all!"

"Please, Cap'n; Kaylee: I've had about all the sweet nothin's I can handle for one day." Zoe glared them down. "We've all got work to do."

"Carry on, then. I'm going to ask Simon where he would suggest we should try and unload some of this stuff. He knows the core pretty well."

Mal wasn't fooling anyone. He was going to see Simon so he could check on the doctor's current patient. The infirmary door was closed, but Mal could see Simon inside through the glass window. He knocked softly on the door jam. Simon motioned for him to enter.

"How's she doing today?" Mal asked in a whisper. His eyes strayed past Simon Tam to the still figure tucked on a gurney in the center of the room. He was struck anew by the small bundle she made, lying there wrapped in soft white blankets to guard against Serenity's ever-present chill. He'd been surprised at what a lightweight she was when he'd picked her up off the floor of the other ship. It was the first time he'd ever held her. She'd curled into his arms so readily; he couldn't believe how easy it was to carry her. She'd always seemed larger than life to him before: her presence, with her rich robes, her unnaturally large eyes, and self-confident stance were quite frankly a bit intimidating. Now, lying there unconscious, swathed in a blanket so that only her face showed, she seemed painfully fragile. He felt a stab of fear that they would lose her after all.

"The same, I'm afraid. She hasn't regained consciousness. Her vital signs are strong, and she shows no signs of infection, but only time will tell if she's suffered any damage due to oxygen loss. I'm going to check in on River. Do you think you can sit with her, Mal?"

"Of course."

Simon had been pretty sure he wouldn't have any trouble convincing the Captain to stay with Inara for a while.

"Thanks; I'll be right back." Simon left.

Mal stood near the entry for a minute or two just watching her breathe and allowing relief wash over him. She was alive. He pulled up the doctor's stool, sat down at the head of the gurney, reached out and delicately touched her ashen cheek.

"Inara, what happened? I never should have let you go alone." He knew that the overpowering guilt he was feeling was unfounded; Inara went off on her own all the time. But he'd had a nagging sixth sense about this one. He'd ignored his inner voice and look what had happened: they'd almost lost Serenity in a trap and Inara had been seriously hurt on a trip that was supposed to have been a joyful vacation with a friend. He'd gone pretty far down the road of self-blame when a tiny sound brought his attention back to the woman beside him.

"Mgrmblth," she slurred without opening her eyes.

"Nara?" Mal picked up her hand and held it with both of his, anxious for her response. Her head rolled to one side, then the other. She took a shuddering breath and struggled briefly against the confining blankets.

"Bao bei," Mal breathed, surprising himself with the endearment that flew from his lips unbidden. He stroked her cheek, softly running his fingers across her brow and petting her hair in an attempt to wake her. She coughed and tried again to sit up to no avail.

"Easy, Nara. Lie still; you're in the infirmary. You're safe; you're back on Serenity. You've been injured and you need to lie still." He put his hand on her face to still her thrashing. She jerked at the first touch of his palm against her cheek.

"Don't," she mumbled. Surprised, Mal met her gaze. Her eyes had finally opened and she was staring at him, but something was wrong. All he could see was wide-eyed fear. She didn't appear to recognize him.

"It's me, Nara. Don't you know me?" Mal pulled his hand back, not wanting to upset her further. She was looking at him with such open terror that he felt like a Reaver. He had a crazy notion to find a mirror and get a peek at the monster she was seeing.

"Nara," he tried again. "It's me. It's Mal. You know I would never hurt you."

She moaned, her eyes fluttered shut, her head turned away and she slipped back under. Simon came into the infirmary a few moments later to find Mal white as a sheet.

"What's the matter? Is she okay?" Simon asked, automatically picking up a wrist for her pulse.

"She woke up," Mal reported. "Only for a few minutes, but she was awake."

"Did she say anything?"

"Not really. She didn't seem to know who I was. Then she closed her eyes again."

"Well, I think it's a good sign that she's regained consciousness. Some confusion is common in cases like this. I'm hopeful we'll see improvement soon. Uh, Mal, are you okay?" Simon asked.

"Yeah. Conjure I'll go see Wash and River; I'll just make certain sure everything's under control." Because right now it felt to Mal like everything was out of control, ever since Inara had given him that wild-eyed stare and had failed to recognize him.

"Hey, Cap," Wash greeted him when he entered the bridge and slipped into the co-pilot's chair.

"Hey yourself. Where's River?"

"She's around. Simon took her back to her room to get some rest; he's been after her to get on a more regular schedule. He says she doesn't sleep enough. We're coming up on the Persephone system; you want we should stop and sell a few of our pretty things?"

"Not yet. We have enough supplies to fly for weeks. Let's steer clear."

"Feeling antisocial, Cap?" Wash ribbed.

"As always," Mal confirmed answering Wash's smirk with a wan smile. "I'm going to find River."

The girl was in her cabin but she wasn't resting. River was dancing around the room humming an indefinable tune while she pirouetted and executed graceful little leaps. She smiled at Mal as he climbed down into her lair.

"River, I want you to do something for me. For all of us."

"You want me to find her. She's far away, Cap'n-Daddy. Maybe too far to find." She spun around to the tune in her head. Her hair flew around her in a dark cloud. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling.

"River, stop for a minute and talk to me." Mal grabbed her shoulders and held her still. "What do you mean?"

River grew serious and peered at Mal with uncomfortable intensity. Mal could feel her looking right into his bare soul. Her dark eyes grew sad and Mal saw tears shimmering around the edges, ready to spill out and burn. Unconsciously his hands tightened on her arms.

"River, please tell me what's wrong with her, if you know something. You can sense it, can't you? You do, I can see it. Talk to me."

"They hurt her, and she's hiding now. She doesn't want to be found. There's pain, so much pain." Tears overflowed and slid down her cheeks. Mal felt a pang of guilt at the knowledge that her tears were partially his fault. But he had to press on.

"You can reach her, mei mei?" He persisted.

"I don't know. Hurts. It hurts." Mal wasn't sure if River was talking about Inara or if she'd gone farther back into her own past to revisit the atrocities done to her at the hands of the Alliance. He felt terrible for her, for Inara, for the way powerful people visited destruction upon the innocent. With a groan, he pulled River into his arms and held on with all his strength, wanting to pull her out of her private hell once and for all. He hated himself for bringing it all back to her mind, even if it was to save another member of his crew who was in crisis.

"It's okay, Cap'n-Daddy. Not for me to do, anyhow. Conjure it's you." Her gentle fingers were stroking his back with soothing, rhythmic strokes. He felt his heart slowing down and his muscles unwinding. Not for the first time he wondered if she really was a witch. With a deep, peaceful breath, River stepped backwards out of his embrace. He gazed at her, mesmerized by the look of trust and admiration she was beaming at him.

"I tried, River. She's scared to death of me."

"Try again. You'll find her. She knows." River began to dance again. The discussion was plainly over as far as she was concerned. Mal nodded and headed back to the infirmary.

She didn't awaken again that night. Mal sat next to her through the long night, propped in a chair where he dozed awkwardly. When he woke up the muscles in his neck were on fire. He stood up with a groan and tried to knead away the burning spasm. It took him a moment to remember where he was and why he was there. When his head cleared, he sat back down next to Inara, taking her hand in his again. Her hand flinched in his. When he looked down at her she met his gaze. There was more trust and less fear this time.

"Mornin', darlin'," he said to her with an easy grin. "Good to see you awake for once."

She struggled to sit up. Mal moved behind her and was gratified that she allowed him to help her to a sitting position. It seemed that whether or not she could remember him, she'd come to the conclusion he was not a threat. She hung her blanketed legs over the side of the gurney and studied the infirmary.

"You've been asleep for a couple of days. Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

She said nothing but simply stared at him while he talked. The fear was gone but in its place was a confused wariness. Mal strode to the cupboard and pulled out a hydration pouch.

"Do you want some water?" Not waiting for an answer, he sat down next to her and held out the water pouch. She took it, drank it all and then looked for more. Mal smiled.

"Just a second, Nara, I'll get some more." He grabbed another plastic pouch out of the cupboard and took it to her.

At that moment, Simon came in. Inara cried out and threw her arms around Mal's neck in a chokehold he was able to ease out of only by degrees. The water pouch fell at Simon's feet. He bent over and retrieved it.

"Good to see you awake, Inara. How are you feeling?" Simon asked. Inara's only response was to hide her face in Mal's chest.

"Hey, Nara, this is Dr. Simon. He's one of the good guys. Don't be afraid." Her hands loosened their grip slightly. "She doesn't seem to know us, yet, Doc."

"You're safe now," he soothed in her ear. Ai ya, he was a bastard. In a strange, sick way he was actually enjoying this. Or maybe he was enjoying being needed by this amazingly independent woman who, until now, had never appeared to need anybody. Her arms fell to his waist and locked around him. She felt warm, soft and yielding. This was not the Inara he knew. His brain was beginning to fog over.

"Well, Inara, I need to examine you and see how you're doing. Will you let me check you over?" Simon asked. He made no move towards her but waited for her answer. She said nothing. Mal gave Simon a helpless shrug.

"I'm just going to listen to your heart and lungs first," he said. Moving around to the other side of the gurney, Simon reached across and gently placed the stethoscope against her bare back. She flinched but remained calm. After a minute, he straightened up and came around to face her.

"Okay, now I need to check your neck. Your trachea was bruised and we need to see how the swelling is doing." She sat up, watching Simon like a cornered cat, one hand clutching Mal's thigh with an iron grip. Slowly, the doctor moved a hand towards her and gently, slowly, examined her neck. He smiled.

"The swelling's down. Looks much better, Inara. You'll be sore for a few days, but you're going to make a full recovery. Mal, can I see you outside the room for a minute?"

"I'll be back," Mal assured Inara. She released her chokehold on his leg and curled up on the gurney. She seemed exhausted. Simon pulled a blanket over her and she closed her eyes.

"What?" Mal asked when they had moved out of earshot. Simon looked grim.

"She's okay, right?"

"You can't see her worst injuries. Physically, she'll recover quickly, I have no doubt. But I think she's going to have a tough time mentally and emotionally. A very tough time. Mal, I had to stitch up the wounds."

"What do you mean? Where?" Mal hadn't seen anything but bruises on Inara.

"She was raped, Mal. Brutally raped. And she was choked so badly that she may have been without oxygen long enough to damage her brain. She hasn't said anything; she doesn't recognize anybody. These are bad signs. I can't predict how much of the old Inara is going to come back. I thought you should know what we're dealing with here."

"Raped?" Mal whispered in horror. He hadn't really heard anything else Simon had said. He turned away from Simon and put out a hand on the bulkhead to steady himself. "Lao tyen boo," Mal rasped.

"Whatever happened back there was horrific. She's lucky to be alive."

Mal had seen the carnage; he knew Simon was right. Inara was very lucky to be alive. No matter how hard the road ahead, they'd walk it; see it through with her. No matter what her injuries were, having her here, alive, was infinitely better than the alternative.

"Thanks, doc. I'm going to go sit with her. If that's alright with you."

"Sure." Simon stepped back out of the way and allowed Mal to reclaim his seat at the head of Inara's bed. After a moment's hesitation, he turned and walked away, having decided it might be a good time to sip a slow cup of tea in the mess.

TBC...

_A/N: Ai ya, hwoon dahn damn, son of a bitch._

_Lao tyen boo oh my Lord_

_Bao bei sweetheart_


	3. Chapter 3

Love, Loyalty and Serenity Part 4

A/N: This is the second to last chapter in this story. Hope you like!

"We're in orbit around Paquin, Cap'n." Wash had his boot-clad feet on the controls because his hands were cushioning his head. If he were any more relaxed, he'd be asleep. The view visible through the glass was breathtaking. Paquin was a large planet distinguished by colorful bands of rock and dust. It had one smallish ocean that shone like a turquoise jewel in the equatorial regions.

"Shiny. Set down near the water. But not too close to town. Don't need no civilization."

Civilization was a nice word for the loosely organized collection of little towns scraping out a living on this hot, dry planet. The Alliance largely ignored this remote system; hence the reason Mal had chosen to set down here. That, and the fact that he had been able to get work here on more than one occasion. The warm equatorial ocean surrounded by white sand beaches had also played into his decision to park Serenity here for a week or two, at least until they'd picked up a few supplies, done some overdue maintenance on their ship and smelled out any jobs that might bring in income.

Kaylee was the first one outside when the hatch was fully opened, but River and Simon were close behind. Wash had set them down a few hundred yards from the edge of the sea. Kaylee ran barefoot through the sand and into the waves up to her knees. Her whoop of delight blew back to Serenity on a brisk breeze.

"Nice choice, Cap'n," Zoe said.

"I'm inclined to agree," Mal answered. He followed his second down to the water's edge and watched his crew playing like delighted children. Simon looked over Mal's head back at the ship and nodded to Mal. Mal turned and saw Inara standing in the shadow of the hold, still inside the ship as if she couldn't make up her mind whether to chance coming out or not.

"Is she well enough to walk around, Simon?"

"For a short while, yes; I think it would be good for her."

Slowly and casually, Mal walked up to her with his hands in his pockets. He watched her for any sign of fear before extending his hand.

"The water's warm," he said.

She didn't move but just stared at him. She looked exhausted; she seemed almost on the verge of collapse. After a moment during which Mal held his breath, not at all sure how she would react, Inara slowly reached out her hand. She hesitatingly slid it into his outstretched palm. Mal breathed. Step by step, taking care to not rush her, he led her down to where the others were now thoroughly soaked and throwing handfuls of sea water at each other with great shouts of glee. Kaylee splashed wildly at Simon. He returned the gesture with abandon. A spray of water rained down on Inara.

"Ai ya!" She cried breathlessly.

"Hey, watch where you're… Inara! What did you just say?" Mal stared at the woman at his side with delight.

"Ain't that somethin'; her first word's a cuss," Jayne commented behind them.

"Atta girl," Mal crowed. The wild water fight paused and everyone stared at Inara. She looked down at her feet and nonchalantly drew in the sand with her toe. Within seconds the hilarity began again, but this time hearts were lighter, for Inara had finally broken her silence.

"You okay?" Mal asked her after a few minutes.

"I'm tired," she replied softly. Indeed, she looked frail and ashen. Mal lost no time heading back up to Serenity with her hand tucked into the crook of his arm.

After that, Inara improved quickly. By the next evening she was talking almost normally. But she still seemed off to Mal; he found her in the galley a few days later and he decided to do a little probing. She was absorbed in the task of cleaning the cook top. She seemed mesmerized by the repetitive motions of polishing the metal surface. He watched her work for a few minutes before speaking.

"Inara," he said.

"What?"

"What's the last thing you remember before waking up in the infirmary?"

She put down her cleaning rag and turned around. She wore the same confused expression he'd seen on her face a lot in the past two days.

"I'm not sure." She looked at him hopefully. "Can you tell me?"

"How about you tell me."

Her face grew closed and she tried to leave. Mal stepped in front of her and prevented her from leaving the galley so as to force an answer.

"I can't," she said with frustration. "The last thing I remember, I was flying the shuttle to… somewhere. Then I woke up in the infirmary. Did I crash-land somewhere?"

"No, you, uh…"

"It's important that you remember it yourself, Inara," Simon interjected from the doorway. "You've had a trauma and you've lost some of your memory. Can you tell us what you do remember?"

"Nothing, not since I flew off by myself to… well, to wherever I went. Where was I going?" Her eyes welled with tears and she abruptly turned away from the two men.

"We can talk about tomorrow. Don't fret," Mal encouraged. "Do you want I should make you some tea? Or dinner, or something?"

"I do remember enough to know you don't know how to make tea," Inara retorted.

"Course I do. That's downright insulting." Mal tried to look outraged but his continuing concern for Inara took the edge off his tone.

"I'll make it. Simon…tea?" Inara said.

"Sure, I'll have some, too," he agreed. He and Mal exchanged a glance. It would seem they'd postponed discussing the issue, at least for now.

Town was full of exciting sights, sounds and smells. Inara looked happier than she had in a long time walking down main street with Mal and Kaylee. Kaylee was holding a small cloth sack which from time to time she dipped into to extract a sugar-coated pistachio. She ate them with such enjoyment that Mal stuck out his hand for one. He ambled along easily, enjoying the day and chewing on pistachios, content to watch the two women gaping at the trading post window up ahead.

"I guess we're not going to escape a visit to that pile of junk?" Mal said.

"No," Kaylee confirmed. She grabbed Inara by the hand and the women went inside. Mal trailed behind them.

"Look at this!" Kaylee cooed at a pretty pink parasol. "So frilly."

"Those shawls are quite good lacework," Inara said, pointing to several delicate creations hanging on the wall behind the main counter. She stared in appreciation.

"You should get one," Kaylee urged.

"I'm watching my funds, Kaylee. Been a while since I've had any real work."

"I know what you mean," Mal commiserated.

"I don't think you do," Inara teased. Kaylee laughed at Mal's sudden discomfort.

"Inara!" All three of them turned at the sound of a stranger's voice greeting one of their own. Mal was instantly filled with an overpowering protectiveness when he saw a well-dressed, tall gray-haired man standing in the doorway drinking in the sight of the beautiful woman at the counter.

"Sir Benton!" Inara said, surprised. "Why, you're a long way from home!" She walked up to him with a pleasing smile.

"No, I'm not, actually. This is my home now. I own a ranch just north of here. I make a decent living and Paquin is about as peaceful and quiet as one can hope for in the 'verse. You're the one I'd say is a long way from home."

"I've also changed my residence since we last saw one another," Inara said. "I have a business arrangement with a transport ship. I guess you could say the stars are my home."

"How appropriate," the man said with a syrupy grin. "So, how long will you be onworld?" Mal hated the way he looked at Inara; all gooey-eyed and leering. He wanted to go to Inara's side and lay claim to her somehow, but he knew she'd feel disrespected if he interfered. Kaylee's hand crept into his; she'd seen his mood and was offering reassurance.

"Might I have a word with you, Inara?" The man asked.

No! Mal wanted to roar.

"Of course," said Inara. She followed him outside the shop and out of earshot.

"Now, Cap," Kaylee started, but he shushed her with an upheld hand.

"I don't want to hear it."

"Well, she just said she's running low on funds!" Kaylee whispered in protest. "It's what she does."

"Right," Mal muttered. He dropped a small armful of supplies on the sales counter. "Here's some coin, Kaylee. Get these for the galley. I'm headed back to Serenity. Make sure she comes back with you." He jabbed a finger in the direction of the open door.

"Cap'n, don't be like that," Kaylee pleaded. He ignored her and stalked away.

Mal was slightly appeased to see both Kaylee and Inara come on board shortly after he had arrived back at the ship. He did his best to ignore them by continuing to poke around under the solar sheeting array. He'd been trying to increase the solar energy pulled in by the panels by rewiring the array, but it was confusing and he still wasn't finished. Now he was anxious to get all the repairs done and get back into space. The sooner he put some distance between Inara and that love-sick man in town the better. She didn't remember what had happened to her; he knew better than she did that she wasn't ready to start entertaining clients. He thought Simon should talk to her as soon as possible and explain how things were, although Mal didn't want anything to do with that conversation.

"What are you doing down under there, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked curiously.

"Gah, I can't get the wires hooked up in the right order." Mal closed his eyes and blew out a breath.

"Let Inara have a look," Kaylee suggested.

"Here, let me see," Inara agreed.

"What do you know about the solar sheeting?" Mal demanded petulantly. He slid out from under the array and bumped his head on the underside of the bulkhead.

"Ai ya, hwoon dahn." Mal rubbed his forehead. Kaylee tried not to laugh.

"You okay, Cap?"

"Never better. Just get under there and fix it."

Wearing a smug grin, Inara slid underneath the panel and began to rearrange the wires with an easy confidence.

"I've been teaching her how the ship's systems work for months now, Cap'n. She's a quick study. She's been helping me keep up with this old girl for a while."

"Really?" Mal's eyes widened.

"I thought I should learn a useful trade for shipside, since we tend to go longish between ports of call," Inara explained from under the panel. "Kaylee is a great teacher."

"Well I'll be." Mal sounded pleased. "Listen, ladies; I've got some things to take care of. You two carry on."

"Ah, Mal," Inara stopped him. "How much longer were we going to stay on Paquin?"

"Two, maybe three days. We still have a few repairs outstanding. Why, you got plans?" He gave her a sharp glance.

"Just wondering." She ducked back under the panel and appeared to be working on something with great concentration.

"Uh huh." Mal looked like he was going to say something for a second. Then he shook his head and left.

"Kaylee, I've made plans for the evening," Inara confided once she was sure Mal was gone. "I don't think Mal approves, but business has been scarce lately. If he asks just tell him I'll be back soon. Can you cover for me?" Inara gave Kaylee a pleading look.

"I'll try."

It was after sunset when Mal walked out to the shoreline. The waves were rough and the wind had picked up. Mal sniffed at the heavy air. Jayne was already out in the gloom and he joined the Captain.

"Smells like rain," Jayne commented. "Funny how the smell of rain is the same on every planet."

"Yeah, that's true enough." Mal kicked at the pebbles beneath his feet. "Ai ya! Did you see that?" Lightning had just forked down along the horizon, lighting up the water. Another stab blazed into the sea, and another, and then the wind began to blow in earnest. A cold splash of rain hit Mal's cheek.

"Let's get inside," Mal suggested. They ran up the cargo bay ramp and Jayne hit the controls to close the hatch. Mal hurried up to the engine room where he knew Kaylee would be tracking the storm.

"What we got?" He called to her.

"Looks bad, Cap'n. Paquin has some wicked storms as I've heard tell. I wish Inara was here… oops."

"What? I thought she was in her shuttle resting. Where is she?"

"She went to town about an hour ago," Kaylee confessed. "She went with that man we run into at the store earlier." Kaylee prepared herself for the Captain's disgust, or even anger, but nothing she had previously observed about the Captain could have prepared her for the raw fear that immediately bloomed in his eyes.

"Do you know where?" He asked urgently. "Where did she go exactly?"

"No, I don't know exactly. She said she was going to his ranch on the north side of town. He was supposed to come pick her up here, she said. That's all she told me, I swear." Kaylee felt a flood of fear for Inara at the sight of her Captain's shocked face.

"I'm going after her." Mal ran up the ladder that led to the other shuttle. "Loose the docking clamps, Kaylee," he called.

"Y-yes, sir," Kaylee answered with a leaden heart. She felt terrible; she wished now she'd stopped Inara from going. Her gut had told her it was too soon, but she wasn't in the habit of telling people what to do. Mal's horrified reaction to the news that Inara had gone to meet a client told Kaylee her instincts had been right and she should have followed them. And this storm was getting worse by the minute. Listening to the spare shuttle lift off she squeezed her eyes shut with worry for her Captain as well as her friend.

Mal flew low over the town and followed the only road that ran north. It only took him a few minutes to find a large, newly erected house surrounded by barns and outbuildings. He set the small ship down near the gate just as rain began falling in wind-driven sheets.

"Hwoon dahn," he muttered, taking a look at the raging storm. He'd seen few this intense. He didn't relish the thought of going out in this weather, but for Inara he knew he'd march through worse. He prepared himself for a very uncomfortable run to the front door. He still wasn't sure what he was going to do once he got there. He only knew that he had to be sure Inara was safe from harm; if that meant facing an embarrassing moment so be it.

Wait; was somebody out in this storm? Mal peered out from the hatch into the rain and dark. It looked like someone was stumbling along against the wind, heading away from the house. He jumped down the ramp and headed for the figure. In no time he was soaked to the skin and gasping against the onslaught of the wind. Lightning crashed around him. Mud sucked at his boots and threatened to pull him to the ground.

"Mal!" He heard a familiar voice call. He looked in the direction of the voice. There was Inara lurching wildly toward him through the mud, soaked and wide-eyed with fear. He was sure, as she reached him and threw herself into his arms, that if her face hadn't been drowned with rain it would still be wet with tears. She was hysterical. Back at the house, Mal saw a man framed against the light of the doorway, looking frantically around the grounds. The man called out over and over but his voice was all but swallowed up in the wind.

"Oh Mal!" Inara sobbed against his throat. Desperate fingers dug holes in his back.

"Did he hurt you? Want I should kill him?" Mal demanded.

"No, no, don't. He didn't do anything to me. Please just take me home," she cried.

With a final look at the man back at the house, Mal decided the best thing to do was to get the two of them into the shuttle and return to the warmth and shelter of the ship.

"C'mon." He turned, struggled back to the open hatch and lifted her in. Half the shuttle was rain-soaked by now thanks to the hatch having been left open while he went after Inara, but he barely noticed. He fastened Inara into the co-pilot's seat and took off as quickly as possible. The shuttle was so quiet compared to the howling gale outside that it took him a few moments to adjust to the change in volume. When he had recovered from their ordeal enough to speak, he glanced over at Inara where she sat shivering and crying.

"Why did you go off without telling me?" He growled at her. Bad idea, he realized a second after he spoke. She only cried harder and was barely able to get her breath. He looked around on the ground below the ship. He landed the shuttle on a barren stretch of range so he could focus all his attention on the hysterical woman beside him. He jumped out of his chair and closed the distance between them with two strides.

"Hey, I'm sorry. It's okay now. Tell me what happened." He was afraid to touch her until she calmed down; he opted for sitting on the arm of her seat. Her sobs subsided to miserable hiccups, but she said nothing in return. She was shivering violently.

Mal got up and rummaged around in the gear compartment behind the pilot's chair until he found what he was looking for: an old coat made of sheepskin, dirty but dry and warm. He unfastened Inara's restraint belt and slipped the coat around her shoulders, carefully tucking it all around her from her chin to her knees.

"Phew," she protested at the animal odor emanating from the garment. A faint smile appeared for a moment. Encouraged, Mal reclaimed his seat on the arm of her chair and circled one arm around her shoulders.

"Warmer?"

"Yes, thank you." The words sounded nasal and shaky.

"Are you going to tell me what happened back there? Did that man do something to you?"

"No. Well, yes, but it shouldn't have upset me. I went with him, you know, for business. I've been with him before; he's a good man, a fair man. His wife died many years ago and his lifestyle has always been very nomadic, so he…"

"I don't want to know his life story. I want to know what has you so upset you would run out into a storm like this one."

"He kissed me," Inara whispered. She began to tremble again. "When he kissed me I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. It was like somebody was choking me to death. I went completely crazy; I think I hit him. All I could think of was that I had to get out of there. I felt afraid for my life, Mal… it was insane. I acted like an insane woman." She began to cry silently.

"He'll report me to the Guild," Inara blubbered on. "My career is over. Why did I react like that? I don't know what came over me."

"Uh, I think I do," Mal finally said. "Inara, I didn't want to tell you what happened to you back on Icarus. I know you can't remember it, and for good reason; it was terrible. But maybe I should have told you, or Simon should have. It might have helped you."

"Mal, tell me what happened," Inara asked. "I want to know. I think." She turned to him with dread in her eyes. "I have dreams, and they're full of awful things. Just tell me. I'm tired of guessing what happened."

"You may not want to know," Mal countered.

"Tell me." Inara wore a steely expression.

"Okay. The reason you reacted so badly when that man kissed you, I'm guessing, is because back on Icarus a man tried to kill you by choking you around the neck. He put his mouth on yours while he was choking you. I wanted to stop him so badly, I swear; we just couldn't get to you fast enough. By the time we got there, you were unconscious. I wasn't even sure you were still alive." Mal closed his eyes against the pain of the memory.

"Mal," Inara breathed shakily. "There's more, I know."

"Yes."

"Please go on."

"He kidnapped you and raped you." Mal knew of no other way to tell her the awful truth than straight up.

"Wu de tyen ah. And Fariah. He raped her too, and then he killed her," Inara rasped out. She gasped in agony. Her eyes filled with horror as the buried memories of that awful day now flooded into her mind unchecked. "He killed her husband right in front of us. He died right there. I reached out and took him by the hand, but he was already gone." Another sob exploded out of her.

"I can see it all like it's happening right now," she cried.

"No, Inara. It's over. Those men are all dead and they will never hurt you again," Mal vowed. He reached down and pulled her close. Her cheek pressed in against his and her tears wet his face. There was nothing for several long healing minutes except the steady drum of rain on the roof and the feel of her body curled trustingly in the curve of his embrace.

"I'm sorry we couldn't get to you any sooner," he said against the top of her head. "I'm sorry you lost your friend. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all this before you came out to meet this guy tonight."

Her hair smelled so good; like lilac mixed with rain.

"It's over. I've got you now, bao bei." He rocked her in his arms. He was relieved when he felt her arms creep up over his back and around his shoulders in response. She wasn't shaking any more and her hold on him was strong and sure.

"Thanks for coming after me."

"Any time." He was content to hold her for as long as he could get away with it. He felt her head sink onto his shoulder like a dead weight and it dawned on him that she needed to sleep soon.

"Are you ready to go home?" He asked.

"Yes. Let's go home," she repeated with a delicious emphasis on the word "home".

Thanks for reading! More soon...


	4. Chapter 4

**Love, Loyalty and Serenity: Conclusion**

By the time they docked with Serenity, the storm outside had abated. The storm in Inara had also subsided; in fact, she was sound asleep. Mal shook her awake. She sat up slowly and moaned.

"Leave me be," she slurred. Her eyes were only half-open. Mal supported her as she stumbled out of her seat and he led her toward the hatch.

"We're back. Home. C'mon, 'Nara. You look like you sorely need your bed."

"Bed," she echoed.

The walk to her shuttle was a long one for Inara in her utterly spent condition. Mal never once let go of her arm. She moved woodenly, like a zombie, her beautiful dark eyes empty and lifeless. Inside, Mal sat down next to her on the bed, not yet willing to leave her alone to wrestle with her newly captured memories. It had been too long since she had last spoken and he was beginning to wonder if the nightmare of the last few weeks was starting all over again. He reached out and tentatively touched her arm, not sure what she needed or what he was able to offer her.

"Inara?" he asked.

She turned and went behind the ornate privacy screen that dominated one wall. He swallowed and pretended not to look as she stripped off her soaked clothes without much thought as to whether he was watching and emerged wrapped in a dry robe. She was shaking and wore a shattered, defeated expression. Mal watched her sympathetically.

"Need anything?" He asked.

"Please don't leave me alone," she said, astonishing them both.

"What?"

"Please?"

"If that's what you want."

He had no experience with the fragile, needy side of this normally sharp-tongued, independent woman. It appeared Inara was surprising her own self as well. She hesitantly curled up in a ball on one side of the bed. He stared as she pulled the coverlet up over her body and lay down, all the while watching him with woeful uncertainty. He stood there frozen for longer than she could bear. She finally reached over and tugged feebly at his sleeve. It worked; he came to life and nodded his acquiescence.

"It's okay, I'm staying. Just a second." Mal sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to remove his damp, muddy boots to the accompaniment of a few choice Mandarin oaths, and then stood up and slipped his suspenders off his shoulders. It didn't take him long to remove his pants and jacket. He dropped each item into a wet heap on the floor, promising himself to lay his things out to dry as soon as he woke up. His shirt was fairly dry, having been under his jacket, so he lay down still wearing the loose muslin shirt. He pulled the remainder of the coverlet over his bare legs and sighed deeply. Ai ya, he was tired. Against his mind's protestations his eyes closed and he felt himself begin to drift off.

This wasn't exactly what he'd planned on happening if and when he shared a bed with Inara. All his daydreams of this moment, however, weren't enough to counteract the unbearable fatigue sucking at his mind. Somewhere on the edges of his consciousness he felt her arm creep across his chest and remain draped there, a sweet ribbon of comfort and warmth. Her head nestled into the crook of his arm and her hair somehow became entangled in his nerveless fingers. He tried to hang onto the feel of its silky weight in his hand but everything was fast fading away into the dark, bringing with it an unaccustomed sense of peace.

"Thank you," she breathed. It was the last thing he remembered for a very long time.

"Going to town, Cap?" Jayne asked at the sight of his commanding officer entering the galley bright and early the next morning scrubbed and dressed in clean clothes. The rest of the crew sat around the table eating breakfast in between trading jokes and insults. The only one missing was Inara. Kaylee was pouring tea and Zoe was trying to steal a piece of bread off her husband's plate. He grabbed her arm but he immediately regretted it.

"You don't want to arm wrestle with her," Mal recommended. "Play nice, Zoe," he added when he saw her bend Wash's arm backwards.

"She won't hurt me," Wash boasted. "Ow!" he cried out a second later. "Sweetcakes, that hurt!"

Mal snorted; River laughed.

"Yes, I am going into town, Jayne," Mal answered. "I got a lead on a job we can run. If it pans out we're flying out of here tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Several of his trusty crew whined in unison.

"Serenity is a working vessel and you are her working crew; shore leave was shiny but it's over," Mal reminded them firmly. "Anybody coming into town with me?"

"Need some help with securing that job?" Jayne asked.

"Sure."

"I'm coming too," Kaylee chimed in.

Simon perked up. "I think I will too," he said looking sidelong at Kaylee. River stepped forward expectantly. Book raised his hand like he was back in school.

"Okay kids, everybody in the mule in ten," Mal said with a laugh. "Wash? Zoe? I hope you're staying with the ship. Somebody ought to."

"No problem, Cap'n," Wash agreed with a suggestive grin aimed at Zoe.

"I meant someone needs to stay with the ship and actually keep an eye on things."

"Yes, sir," Zoe said coolly. Wash looked crestfallen.

"Sir Benton, this is Inara," she said into the communications unit. She cringed before going on. "I'm so sorry about last night," she stuttered, wondering what message she could possibly leave that could make up for her unforgivable rudeness to him. She didn't have to think for long because suddenly he was right there on the screen almost as if he'd been waiting to hear from her. Inara's stomach clenched with embarrassment.

"Inara! I'm glad to see you're alright. I was quite worried about you." She heard no tone of accusation; just a touching concern that sounded sincere.

"I'm fine, Benton, but I owe you an explanation and an apology. Could we meet?"

"Perhaps." He sounded uncomfortable.

"Would you like to have a cup of tea together this afternoon at the café?" Inara asked.

"I would like that. Inara, did you say you are living on a transport ship?"

"Yes; a Firefly Class transport."

"Do you conjure your ship would be able to provide transport for some goods I have contracted to a rancher on Aberdeen? I am unable to deliver his order myself and he is anxious to receive it. I would make it worth your Captain's time."

"I reckon he would be happy to oblige you. I'll bring Captain Reynolds with me to our meeting and you two can discuss the particulars." Inara was relieved to have an excuse to bring Mal with her to what would probably be an awkward appointment.

"Wonderful. I'm looking forward to doing business with him. Out."

The screen went dark. Inara sat there in front of it for a few moments, trying to decide if she should still be worried about seeing Sir Benton face to face. He was a nice man. He was one of her kindest clients, and she'd known him too long to think he'd be vindictive. But he hadn't said anything in his wave off about looking forward to seeing her again; he'd been all about the business. Perhaps that was safer for him. Sir Benton was from a family of considerable reputation; she doubted he'd ever been treated with such apparent distrust or distaste by anyone the way she'd treated him last night. She'd never run out on a client before; never even considered it. Her training had been strict and thorough on that account. She dropped her head into her hands. She couldn't imagine making an appointment with a client again without being overcome by fear that she would do something like she'd done last night to Sir Benton. What was going to happen to her?

"Hey," Mal said behind her. He'd slipped into her shuttle unannounced. She was used to it by now, but it failed to irritate her this morning the way it previously had.

"Good morning." She stood and turned to face him. "Mal, would you accompany me into town this afternoon? I just waved Sir Benton and we're going to meet."

"Are you sure you want me along? Afraid to face him alone, are you?" Mal smirked but his teasing lacked its usual teeth.

"There's some truth in that. My behavior towards him was inexcusable. But he asked for you to come along. He wants to talk to you. He has a business proposition for Serenity."

"Well now! I reckon I could come along, at that." Mal's eyes grew bright with pride. "It's not every wh-companion who can broker a business deal after… uh, never mind. Forget I said that. Sure, I'll come with you. I got another job to see to anyway. I hope we can fit two clients' worth of cargo in the hold. Been a while since I've had a problem like that to work out. Oh, I brought you something to eat since you weren't at breakfast."

He held out a protein bar and a lovely fresh orange that emitted a mouth-watering smell. Inara's answering smile was one of genuine pleasure. He was still an unrepentantly backwards rim world thief. But she preferred his rough and ready honesty to the smooth-faced deceit that characterized most of her rich clients.

"Thank you." She reached out and took the food with a graceful hand.

Mal's eyes betrayed the warmth he felt for her. He turned and went back to the door. Just before he exited he turned around again with a smile that made her insides melt into a puddle. After he left, she stared at the doorway, stunned.

"You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds," she said to the empty room.

It was late in the day and sunset bathed the faces of Serenity's crew members in a rosy glow. The weather had been exceptionally beautiful, as is often the case in the wake of a bad storm, so they had ridden the mule to and from town. The brisk wind whipped their hair and the warmth of Paquin's Class M star warmed their backs. It had been a successful day. In spite of the pleasures of being planetside, especially on a planet as calm and relatively peaceful as Paquin had been this visit, all of them were looking forward to leaving. The black was the only place they really felt at home anymore.

"Your friend is quite a gentleman," Mal commented to Inara. She was standing next to him, hanging on the side of the mule, looking out over the vast plains speeding past.

"Yes, Benton is one of the best people I know. I don't know too many like him. What are we going to pick up at his ranch tomorrow? Cattle?"

Mal chuckled, remembering a particularly noisy and smelly cargo of live cattle they'd once hauled.

"Thankfully no. It's a shipment of genetically enhanced seed. Supposed to yield three times the harvest. He paid me in advance," Mal boasted. "We're to pick up the shipment tomorrow morn."

"He told me he paid you in advance because any friend of mine was undoubtedly trustworthy."

"You made that up."

"I did not."

Mal reached over and poked her in the shoulder.

"Did."

"Didn't."

"Okay, kids, that's enough," Kaylee warned.

"We could kiss and make up," Mal suggested. Inara rolled her eyes and moved away.

"Yeah, let's see you two kiss and make up," Jayne jumped into the fray.

Mal took Inara by the shoulders and moved in toward her like he was going to make good on Jayne's dare, but something in Inara's gaze told him this was not the time. He'd come to a new understanding of her over these past few difficult weeks and he didn't want to jeopardize the tender shoot of trust that seemed to be growing between them.

"Okay, okay. I give. Conjure you didn't make it up. Sir Benton does think very highly of you."

"You're giving up?" Jayne was incredulous. Disgusted with his captain, he shook his head and sat down.

River, who was driving, pulled up in front of Serenity with a flourish. They hovered while the cargo bay lowered and then settled to a smooth landing within.

"Home! Everybody out."

"Okay, fun's over. Everybody back to work," Mal said. It was definitely time to get back into space, Mal noted; instead of mouthing off as was their usual wont the crew willingly headed to their various posts.

"May I have a word, Mal?" Inara asked. She alone was still standing with him in the now empty cargo bay.

"I should get up to the bridge," Mal said. "I'll come by in a bit, alright?"

"Okay." She suddenly seemed unsure of herself. "I'll-- I'll see you later, then?"

"Sure thing," he assured her. "I'll be down soon."

Mal actually knocked this time, much to Inara's surprise. It was late; she'd begun to think he wasn't coming at all.

"Please come in," she called out. With a nervous movement, she adjusted the positioning of the teacups and the ornamental tea kettle for the umpteenth time. Mal walked in and stood before her but didn't sit down as she had planned for him to do. Another surge of adrenalin raced through her. Why was his mere presence making her so tense?

"Please sit down," she invited.

"Thanks," he said, readily plopping down next to her at her suggestion. He didn't appear at all nervous; in fact, he seemed to be content in a way she'd rarely before observed in her many dealings with this complex man.

"Well, Serenity is back where she belongs." Mal sounded like a little boy setting out on an adventure.

"Yes, I'd say your crew are all at their happiest when flying through the black."

"Even you, Inara?" Mal turned to her.

"It's grown on me, I must confess," she said. "We seem to run into a lot of troublesome situations whenever we're planetside. Out here is the only place I feel safe and peaceful-like any more. And I have Kaylee, and River, and Simon, and Zoe…"

"Yeah?" Mal said after she fell silent. "That all?"

"And Simon, and even Jayne has become someone with whom I feel an attachment," she continued. The poorly suppressed grin playing around her lips told Mal she was purposefully teasing. He ignored it.

"You wanted to talk to me?" He asked. Her grin disappeared; she sat up straighter.

"Yes, I do. First, Mal, I want to thank you for coming after me. I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble."

"You don't owe me any apology. You couldn't help your reaction. Besides, it's all for the best. We got us a job out of the situation, and a good-payin' job to boot."

"That leads into what I want to talk with you about. My ability to bring in money is in question after all this. You see, I don't think I can…. I can't… I'm considering quitting the Guild."

"Quit? Are you sure? The Guild's your whole life. Can you do that? Just quit, I mean."

"I don't see that I have a choice. Sir Benton was very gracious; if I could be certain such a situation would never happen again I feel sure he would never make trouble for me. But I feel it could easily happen again. Every time I think about resuming my profession and going to see clients I feel… I just can't do it, is all."

"Well, truth is, I ain't sorry."

"How can you say that?" Inara burst out. Tears welled in her eyes. "What else can I do? Where will I go? What will happen to me? Being a companion is all I know. It's all I know how to do."

"Now look here, Inara. That just isn't truthsome. There's a lot you could do."

Inara shook her head, sprang to her feet and stalked to the other side of the room. She stood with her arms crossed and refused to look at him. She was crying and trying valiantly to hide the fact from him, which she soon realized was futile in the tiny space.

"The only truth I know is I can't pay the rent on the shuttle for more than a few months."

"Inara," Mal said softly in her ear. She jumped and turned slightly to find the man right behind her, his face only an inch or two from hers. "We'll figure it out. Just-- please stay."

His tone was so gentle, his hands so light on her arms that something inside her melted. She began to cry in earnest and threw her arms around his neck. He responded with a wholehearted embrace that left no doubt that he was sincere in wanting her to stay, and definitely not for business reasons.

"What will I do?" She asked again.

"You've got contacts all over the 'verse. I believe you can find work for Serenity easy-like. Why, you had Sir Benton trusting us with his merchandise in spite of all that happened. You're a natural business woman, Inara. You just have to change your uh, your product."

"Delicately put, Cap'n," Inara smiled through her tears.

"So, what do you say?"

"I could give it a try. Now that you mention it, the Guild outpost on Aberdeen might be in need of some pretty things to spruce up their establishment. I seem to remember we are carrying a hold full of pretty things. And I think Fariah would like the idea of her things being admired and appreciated somewhere."

"See? I knew you'd think of a plan. It'll be okay, Inara. You'll see. We'll just take what comes and deal with it. Like we always do."

"You're a wise man, Malcolm Reynolds." Inara took his face between her hands. "Thank you," she whispered.

She wanted him to kiss her more than she'd ever wanted a man to kiss her. His blue eyes gazed into hers with such complete vulnerability that she wanted to swallow him whole. His lips were alive with barely controlled energy. His face was only a breath removed from hers, and yet he made no move. This was totally outside her experience. Some men were slow lovers, and some aggressive and over-powering. But she'd never run across one who could resist her when she made herself this available. Was he afraid she'd react to him like she had with Benton? She knew without a doubt that she would never push him away, couldn't fear him, no matter what. Not this man.

He was waiting for her. The realization blew her away. He respected her feelings in such an intimate way she hardly knew how to react. She knew him to be a man of principle, a loyal man who would do anything for his friends and comrades, even lay down his life. But now she was seeing a deeper layer to his loyalty and love. His adoration was for her alone and it was taking her apart inside. She didn't even recognize the feelings he was drawing out of her. This was uncharted territory.

"Mal, I…"

"I'm sorry," he said with a backward jerk. The walls behind his eyes were immediately back in place. Inara's heart broke into a thousand bits.

"No, don't," she cried.

Acting on instinct, she reached out and pressed her lips warmly, insistently on his. It took him a second to respond, but when he did she knew without a shade of doubt that she'd gotten through to him. Suddenly he was kissing her back like a drowning man and his arms were anchoring her in place with superhuman strength. She was completely in his power, but the momentary burst of panic she experienced quickly gave way to the overpowering thrill of ecstasy at being repeatedly, thoroughly kissed by the one man she truly desired. His lips, his ragged breath, his iron grip told her how much he needed her, wanted her. For the first time in her life, Inara felt loved to the core of her being. She knew she could never settle for anything less again.

"I should go, 'Nara. You need time to heal; to think through what you want and all." Mal managed to say. He released her and moved away, trying to control his breathing.

"I know what I want. What about you?"

Mal turned back to face her. His face was alight with love.

"I want you to stay on my ship."

He was out the door before she could respond.

Mal was right. She needed time to heal, to grow, to reinvent herself. He was giving her that time in the sweetest way possible, by letting her know how much he cared; by as much as telling her he would wait for her.

Finally, Serenity was well and truly her home. Forever.

_A/N: Finis… hopelessly romantic, I know, but I wrote it the way I saw it!_


End file.
